Thanks to me mate (the sailor formerly known as Cappy).  He be slavin over a desk and it be time fer me ta take command.

Ahoy ye grog guzzlin’ Brethren of the Briney Chesapeake.  Ahoy t' all me hearties and beauties.  'tis the day we be waitin' the year for.   Lest ye not be knowin' the scuttlebutt, t'day be the day when all ye lubbers get to talk like a pirate.  That's right, it's annual TLAP day.    And remember, t'day ye can all be sailors.  So leave the bilge sucking, scurvy dog lubbers at th' workplace, weigh anchor, hoist the miz'n and set sail for yer favorite water'n hole.  Grab some grub and grog, a flaxon o' ale and have yerselves a happy Talk Like A Pirate day. 

And if ye parle the pirate talk to some lubber and he gives ye the stinky eye, just give 'em a taste of the cat-o-nine, hang 'em from the nearest yardarm and make what be left walk the plank for a visit with Davy Jones.

 ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

 The Dread Pirate Heywood

(That be Cap'n Heywood Djabloughmi fer those of ye who're not be knowin' me)

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Cappy
Liberty Call

Most days are like all of the others,
Go to work, come back home, watch TV,
But, brother, if I had me druthers,
I'd chuck it and head out to sea,

For I dream of the skull and the crossbones,
I dream of the great day to come,
When I dump the mundane for the Old Spanish Main
And trade me computer for rum! ARRR!

T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
When laptops are benches God gave us fer wenches,
And a sail ain't a low price ta pay!
When timbers are shivered and lillies are livered
And every last buckle is swashed,
We'll abandon our cars for a shipfull of ARRRs
And pound back the grog till we're sloshed! Yo ho....

Don't pick up yer phone and say "Hello,
Our ten-o-clock meeting's delayed",
Ye scrunch up yer face and ye bellow,
"AVAST! Ye've been bleedin' BELAYED!"

Ye can't keep this fun to yerself, I bet,
So sing "Aye!" "ARRR!" "Ayy!" every man!
We ain't got much grasp of the alphabet,
But a damn good retirement plan!

T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
Whatever's in fashion is in for a thrashin'
And bein' polite is passe!
When it's ev'ry man's duty to grab his proud beauty
And let out a hearty YO HO!
And if this offends you, hold y'r breath as we sends you
Ta Davy Jones' Locker ya go! Yo ho....

We'll tell every banker "Heave to and weigh anchor!"
Buy latte with pieces of eight
We'll fight to be chosen as cap'n or bosun
The loser, o' course, is worst mate!

When we hoist Jolly Roger, the landlubbers dodge 'er,
We fill 'em with loathing and fear,
We'll plunder and pillage each city and village,
Or at least clean out Wal-Mart of beer!

There ain't no computin' or morning commutin',
No "Parking Lot Full" signs for me,
No lawns ta be mowin' or bills to be owin',
I'm knowin' the pull of the sea.

The fresh salty brace of the wind on my face
Through hurricane, sunshine or squalls,
I'm keepin' my eyes on the distant horizon,
Verizon can hold all my calls!

To wear a red coat full o' buckles,
To earn a few duelling scars,
Well, at least we can get a few chuckles
By filling the office with ARRRs!

And maybe we'll never get closer,
Than watchin' 'em on the big screen,
So here's to old Errol and Depp as Jack Sparrow,
And every damn one in between!

T' me,
Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
That time in September when sea dogs remember
That grown-ups still know how ta play!
When wenches are curvy and dogs are all scurvy
And a soft-wear patch covers your eye,
Ta hell with our jobs, for one day we're all swabs
And buccaneers all till we die!

So hoist up the mainsils and shut down your brain cells,
They only would get in the way,
Avast there, me hearty, we're havin' a party,
It's "Talk... Like... A Pirate" Day!

---

Cappy
Liberty Call

Hello Matey,

I thought I would be the only person on the forum celebrating TLAP day. I'm glad to see others so involved. I drink a toast to you if you'll do the same for me.. 

Capt'n Hank

I wanted to help you all out with pirate speak, perhaps a tutorial on how to speak like a pirate..............Oh no, the voices again... ARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH

Cap'n Heywood here. 

Avast, me hearties! Yer dutiful Cap’n invites ye t' pay no mind to the lubber Cappy and lend yer ear t’ me words o’ wisdom.

Let none o’ ye doubt me words, ‘pon pain o’ death!  Aye, this be the best advice – serve ye well in a pinch, ‘twill, till ye find yerself adrift on a hogshead or asleep in Davy Jones’ locker! 

If ye be wantin’ to talk like a old sea dog, there be no need for ye t' go havin’ the Davies (and that be no reference t' Ray Davies, ye worthless lubber). Follow me advice, and ye’ll ne’er find yerself feedin’ the fish ('less it be yer beloved goldfish).

1 Pray ye, powder monkey, learn yer sea-farin’ lingo or I’ll lay the Black Spot on ye! What pirate would say “woman” ‘stead o’ wench, or “hello”, not ahoy? A pirate what wants t’ feed the fish, that’s what! Now, be ye a sea dog or a bilge rat? Bucko or blaggard? Learn ye the fine words o’ pirates, trusted fer centuries. Shiver me timbers, ye be requirin’ a list?

And fer a fuller appreciation o' pirate vocabulary, this be a treasure-trove of pirate slang.

2.  There be no “is”, “you”, “your”, “my” or “mine” in “pirate”! Or be yer deadlights truly dead? Belay that bilge! Use "be" 'stead o' "is", "ye" 'stead o' "you", "yer" 'stead o' "your", and "me" fer both "my" and "mine". In days o’ yore, ye’d be wearin’ the hempen halter fer yer mutinous ways. Luck be with ye today; we be a more forgivin’ lot – let ye be flogged t' smarten ye up!

3.  Simplify, ye poxy dogs!    Mateys, mateys… why ye wastin’ precious breath on syllables and letters what ne’er do ye no good?! Bilge, that be! The good Lord above, in His infinite wisdom, created the apostrophe fer a reason, y’hear? He also created grog, bless Him! Look ye now, whilst I offer an example:

Excuse me, madam, would you please be so kind as to bring me a spot of rum? I would like to have a drink.

Begad! any Jack Tar would see ye fer a lubber and a blaggard… I’d try the cat o’nine tails on ye worthless hide! Hark to me words, now –

Avast! me beauty, fetch me the grog. I be thirstin'!

Arrr, in me many years, I ne’er seen such addled lassies as the likes o’ you, what should meet the rope’s end! I’ll have yer lights and liver if ye don’t rid yerself o’ the useless words. Me time’s precious!

 

---

Cappy
Liberty Call

Henry Noyes:

Hello Matey,

I thought I would be the only person on the forum celebrating TLAP day. I'm glad to see others so involved. I drink a toast to you if you'll do the same for me.. 

Capt'n Hank

Ahoy Cap'n Hank.  I surely be hoistin' a cup o' grog to ye in celebratin' TLAP day.  Aye, and me trusted monkey, Parrrrghter concurs.

---

Cappy
Liberty Call

I always look forward to TLAP day, simply so I can sit here for 20 minutes and try to figure out what the he!! Cappy is trying to say.

Back to my ...."Grog"?

---

Mark Buckwalter

Lancaster, PA

After reading Cappy's post which gave me a headache was probably the first time I was glad I sold my boat

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Cap'n Capuano... Avast ye spirit swells in the likes of ya!  I be remissed and regret fer missing yer thread.  Me heart leaps at the site of yer post, liked to the North Wind after a week in dar doldrums... blest is the man, who fancies with brothers... Groggin' and makin' grand what a Pirate's life giveth.  Tho' we be few in number, tis adventure we plunder... May the wind be strong in yer heart as ya make way to yer port... where a wench be smilin' for her cap'n a callin', round up a ration of rum, and let no scallywag spoil yer fun.

Har and away... 

and I be mistaken, iffen I neglect, to mention Indy's loaded wid da spirit's of Pirate's you might know... with a yo and a ho, we wish yer Baltimore crew a fine journey dis year.

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High Life
2004 "slightly modified" 270BR
5.7 GXi DP
Port of Highland, IL

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but having the perspective to dance in the rain."